The Years of Me (2)


Continuing from my previous post, when I had finally managed to become un-unsociable and had jumped into a long-distance relationship with a Portuguese guy…

2006: The Year of Lite
I started my PhD – a dream come true, with a very dedicated professor as my promotor, and the thing with Lite got serious. A dream job and the cutest, sweetest guy in the universe who loved me: life was good. We travelled around a good deal, Lite and I, and after his Erasmus-year in Italy, Lite even moved to Belgium for an internship. I learned an awful lot of him: self-confidence, perspective, laid-back’ness. If I gotten the concept right, this is my guy-that-got-away.

2007: The Worst Year of my Life
Early in the year, on Lite’s birthday, we broke up. If we had lived closer together (he had ended the internship by then), we might have been able to work things out, but there was no time, no place. I broke. Had I suffered from losing Viking, it was nothing like this. To make matters worse, I had moved 8 kms out of the city, with no car, making it harder to meet my friends, and Loetse got a girlfriend, putting an end to our close friendship (which had continued during my relationship with Lite. it is almost embarrassing when people ask you how long you’ve been together, and you have to answer you’re actually with someone else). I almost lost my job. And I fell back in my old habit of shutting people out.

2008: The Best Year of my Life
I have my friends to thank for not letting me shut them out. I had too much free time on my hands, and started to do stuff. I still had my Portuguese classes, but I added: belly dancing. Teacher course. Ballroom dancing. Accordion classes. Lindy Hop. I went on holidays: skiing with my dad, Istanbul with the belly dancers, Seville, Paris, Barcelona, Mexico. I had one free night a week and I didn’t save a penny, but I had the time of my life. I decided I wouldn’t let my life depend on meeting someone, and bought a house in the city. And to top it all of, Tink came in the picture.

2009: The Year of Tinkel (and Sports Injuries)
While I had been familiar with the whole bisexual thing for years, it was new to T. And her friends. And her family. Ironically, it was my mum that shut the door on me/us. It took severed knee ligaments (bloody snowboarders…) to bring out enough mother feelings to start the acceptance process (still in progress). Around the same time, T had surgery in a final attempt to get rid of the shoulder injury she had been struggling with for a few months then (she was an avid badminton player. national level avid.). So with one good pair of legs and one good pair of arms we complemented each other perfectly.

2010: The Year of Change and Babies. And Hormones.
It was a very fertile year: no less than 7 babies were added to my circle of friends (no twins, btw). It set off my biological clock and freaked me out. But I had no time for that: I needed to finish my PhD, find a new job. There was an opportunity in Sweden, but although I had been dreaming of spending some more time abroad I was reluctant to go – I wanted T to move in and go to the bank with me so we could find us some sperm cells. Unfortunately for me, T didn’t want either of those: I had found the one girl with bigger bonding issues than your average guy. The decision was made: I was taking the job abroad.

2011: The Year of the Rabbit
Apparently. I am guessing for me this will be the Year of Weddings (it’s Belgium… we don’t tend follow the usual order of things). So far, 6 weddings are marked on the 2011 calendar (plus 2 babies), and it’s only February … . And it will be a Swedish Year, obviously, which I’ve decided to enjoy fully, letting my return depend on whether T is ready to move in with me or not. It’s a crossroad year, and I feel the decisions I will make this year will have a big impact on the rest of my life. So here’s to hoping I make the right ones. And here’s to enjoying “now” without worries.

4 responses »

  1. How very exciting! I really hope that 2011 is a great year for you and that you get all that you hope for. I am on a mission to make 2011 a great year also. I hope that your mom continues to to be accepting because I know how hard that struggle can be. Belly dancing? Oooh. I think that’s exotic. I am truly envious of your many travels and hope to be able to do that someday. Until then I guess I’ll just have to live vicariously through you ;) I hope you don’t mind.

    • I want your kids and you want my travels, that kinda makes us even, right? ;) How’s the expression, the grass is always greener… ? The thing is, 10 years from now you’ll have the money and time to go anywhere you want, and I’ll be stuck between crying babies thinking about my low-budget city trips and all the stuff I couldn’t do there cause I couldn’t afford it ;).

      You should go belly dancing yourself! :D It’s not as exotic as it sounds… but it’s great fun (I’m sure mr T will agree ;) ), there must be some classes in Good Ol’ Vegas, I’m sure ;). Go Thy!

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