Music was my first love…


Outside, the snow is falling once again and I can’t help but being mesmerized – I could watch snow falling for hours. I’m not sure what it is about it but it calms me down, it’s soothing to see all those little flakes slowly piling up, decorating trees, and roofs, and us.

People back home asked whether I wasn’t tired of the snow yet. Do they ever get tired of the green grass, the summer sun and the fresh flowers? Then why should I get tired of this white blanket that undoes all the little imperfections in the landscape, and shimmers and shines in the morning sun? No, I haven’t got tired of the snow yet. I’m pretty sure I’ll miss it next year.

Though I’ll forget, of course.

See, I’m an out-of-sight-out-of-mind kind of person. It is sad, sometimes, but that’s how I am. I can not hear from my parents or sister for weeks, and not a thought about them will cross my mind unless they contact me. It’s not that I don’t like them, or don’t care about them – I do. I just… seem to have a head full of other stuff. It’s the same with friends. Or work. Or anything else. I don’t see you, you won’t hear from me – it’s not written down, it won’t get done.

I forget.

And one of the forgotten things was my accordion. Well, not completely forgotten, obviously, since I did bring it with me to Sweden, in some feeble attempt to start playing again. It didn’t happen. I didn’t have the time and I didn’t feel like making it, either, to be honest.
Until last week, my sister’s best friend (which happens to be my best friend’s sister) called to ask if I would be willing to play the accordion at her wedding.

Ehm. Well. I guess… eh… yes?

Only – I haven’t played in 18 months. And I’ve only had the thing for a little over 3 years, so it’s not like I can just pick it up and start where I left – I didn’t have much in the first place. But I promised I’d try.

And I’m having so much fun!

It’s frustrating and all, obviously – I was never very good at it in the first place and it takes TIME to master a song, so after half an hour I generally call it a day, but boy how could I forget? Being able to play an instrument was a life-long dream (I wasn’t allowed to go to music school as a kid) so it was one of the first things I did once I graduated – it is just so great to be able to push the right button at the right time and hear the melody, coming out of yourself, as it were. How I could forget thís feeling I don’t know, but I’ll bet ya it won’t go away any time soon!

My precious...

8 responses »

  1. I think it’s great that you are able to get back to doing something you love. I use to play the piano when I was younger. I loved it when I first started but after being forced to practice ALL the time it kind of lost it’s luster to me. My experience was the exact opposite of yours, where i haven’t touch a piana since beocming an adult. Its strange how that works.

    I admire people who can play an instrument, play it well, and love to play. I LOVE music and it is an extension of who I am, I just choose not to play. Great post!

    • Thx!
      I have never understood why people who know how to play an instrument abandon it… ;) but then again that’s exactly what I did 2 years ago :D. Maybe you would rediscover the joy of playing now if you weren’t forced? That’s why I rarely play more than half an hour a day… it means I’ll never be brilliant at it, but at least I’m having fun ;).

  2. That’s great — not forgetting your life long dream.
    Just ensure that the accordion isn’t out of sight and out of reach!
    My love for music only blossomed around 3 years ago — thanks to painful experience otherwise I wouldn’t be too weak to hold and read a book forever and resort to music to soothe me. I don’t want to say that I missed a lot of music but rather I have received a great gift to enjoy for the rest of my life. Yes to music! Yes to Lies playing accordion in so many occasions!

    • I’m keeping it well within sight now! ;) And I’m looking for sheet music of pieces that I love, so I keep my motivation :).
      It is amazing how music can make you feel – it can take you away to other places, make you dance (in your head or for real) or let you enjoy the moment even better… though I’m sorry to hear it were unfortunate circumstances that brought you to discover music, here’s to much more music in (y)our lives!

    • The thing weighs 10kgs, it’s real allright! And I can produce notes in a certain order, whether that translates as ‘play’ I don’t know ;). If I figure out how to do it, maybe I’ll try to record something and post it here :).

  3. Love what you said about snow, “Then why should I get tired of this white blanket that undoes all the little imperfections in the landscape, and shimmers and shines in the morning sun?” So beautiful and so true.

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